When your husband is in love with another woman, it is really heart breaking to know. But a word of caution! I have always asked two questions to women who complain about their husband’s extramarital affairs. “How did they come to know about it?” is the first one among those. First of all, it is very important to check the validity of the information by yourself. I have seen false information and misunderstandings break some very beautiful relations. So before taking any emotional action, please ask these two important questions to yourself, like
1. How did you know about this extramarital relationship?
Who told you this? Is the person gave you this information is reliable? Trusted? If the person is reliable, try to get some evidences. Validate things by yourself. Take all the information but only believe things by YOURSELF.
2. Are you sure your evidences REALLY prove an affair?
May be they are just good friends. But thankfully lovers do many “things” together that friends don’t. Look for the signs.
If you are positive about the existence of an extramarital affair please don’t panic. I know it is a very sad situation as it questions many of the fundamental equations of a relationship, but an outburst will not help. Know that you have your emotional rights as a wife and a mother. Use them properly to wing back the situation.
1. First talk to your husband. Tell him that you know what is going on. If he denies it, as many will, tell him firmly that you love him and wish to help him out of this weird situation and to do that you need his help. Make him understand that you are very sad because of his affair and cannot tolerate it, but can forgive and forget- only if he cooperates with you.
2. If that does not help, talk to his new found girlfriend. I have seen women already carry guilt while in relation with a married man, and nobody likes a confrontation with a wife and a mother. Tell her not to break your family and you need her help in bringing him back to you.
Many times you have to take these steps simultaneously. Use your judgment and BE FIRM. But also analyze your relationship with your husband. Is anything missing from your part? Are you doing your duties satisfyingly as a wife and a lover? It would be helpful if you are critical about your own attitudes and contributions, as a bad wife or lover is the best known catalyst promoting an extramarital affair.